I'm going to admit it. I have always had a big struggle with comparing. And the worst thing is I usually compare my weakness to others strengths. I don't know why I do it, but I do. The most frustrating thing to me is when I compare my boys to other children. Why? Every kid has struggles, no kid is perfect. But for some reason I seem to think they are. When my kids are more wiggly at church, I notice the ones that are sitting perfectly still. When my kids are refusing to do chores, I think to myself, I bet other kids are doing their chores. When Corbin isn't reading Harry Potter books, I think, all the other kids his age probably are. AHHH! Stop.
Well, last night, I started reading from a wonderful book my mother-in-law had called Teaching Children Joy from Linda and Richard Eyre. This book holds the secret to overcoming my struggle. My favorite paragraph made me think so much and is why I am writing this down today. I have to write it so that I can remember better. Linda Eyre writes "I.Q. vs. J.Q."
"We started our school because of our strong disagreement with the common supposition that the greatest thing that a child can posess (or that we as parents can help him to attain in order for him to 'succeed' in today's society) is a high I.Q. Too much stress is placed on young children's abilities, on being able to put together numbers and letters quickly, on manipulation skills. The world at large seems to be overly aware of 'How soon will my child read?' Or 'Just listen to him count or recite.' While these things do have their place, we strongly believe that real happiness, contentment, and ability to cope with the world lie in a child's J.Q. (joy quotient). Ponder, for a moment, the quality of a child's life once he has obtained confidence in his own ability to make decisions, to enjoy and be aware of nature, to understand another person's ill feelings, to set a goal and accomplish it, to share with and serve his friends, and to see himself as a totally unique individual with a great deal to offer to others. Each of these are joys that can be taught, and we are of the opinion that the ideal time to teach them is before the age of five and before the beginning of formal education. With a foundation of these 'joy' concepts, the other abilities often associated with I.Q. will come quickly and naturally. By teaching a child joy, we can give him both a calm spirit and an active mind."
Joy, that's what I desire most for my kids. I am now trying my hardest to not compare. I am proud of all those parents out there who do an amazing job with their kids. But now, it is time for me to be proud of my kids. Teach them what really matters. In time, they are going to learn to read, they are smart boys and I know they will succeed. Now is the time to enjoy each moment and let them be kids, let us laugh together, play together, and learn together! I want to help them develop their talents individually, they each have something the world needs and only they can do it!
And to Justin, thank you for being so good at this, you were so meant to be their dad!
